Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I am available for nakedness
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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