There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm passing your future prison.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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