I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
