he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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