it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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