I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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