puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
