we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
