remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do herpes really smell.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
