she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
