I puked a lego.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's shark week go big or go home
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
