There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
