Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
