Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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