We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
