I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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