Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
