In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
