Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so that wasnt chicken after all
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
