didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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