I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
