is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i drank out of a bidet.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
