Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
