Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
