I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
