She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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