Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
