He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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