If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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