I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
