Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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