no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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