I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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