one two three fourrrrnication!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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