sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
