it hurts more in the daytime
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
