Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
