I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
