I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
