when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
