Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
