how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
