Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
