no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
