Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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