Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Farmville is her only friend.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
