I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
