drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
