She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
