How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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