note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
